You should go with saltwater and not tell her.. The first time she gets in it, she will say "I love this pool.. I'm so glad we did not go with saltwater.."
Equipment wise..
What is in your list is not a VS pump.. If you are getting Pentair automation it has to be a 3 HP IntelliFlo VS style pump. This is the only pump that Pentair's automation can control.
DE was the go-to filter about 100 years ago. I suggest a large cartridge filter.. I have used cartridge filters for the past 6 or 7 years. I will never go back to a DE filter.. With a cartridge filter you do not need a backwash line to the sewer, you do not need a multiport valve which will stick or start leaking, but the best thing is, you don't have to screw with DE. The plumbing is dirt simple.. out of the pump and right into the filter. I have the Pentair CCP-520.
For automation, the EasyTouch with ScreenLogic is old but still a great system. Just make sure that he is not trying to sell you a "Lite" version of the EasyTouch, which I would not even wish on my mother-in-law... You can tell as it has an "L" in the model # Like PL4 or PSL4..
If you do decide to go with saltwater, you should get the package deal where the automation comes with an
internal salt cell power supply, the salt cell itself, as well as two valve actuators.
Just keep in mind that the EasyTouch with ScreenLogic, is just about the same price as the new Pentair IntelliCenter, which comes with a built-in system to control things from your PC or phone.
If I still used an old black rotary-dial telephone, then I would use the Legend cleaner.. But since I no longer even have a landline, and live in this Century, I'd go with a low voltage robot.. Like this...
Thanks,
Jim R.