Convincing the wife

mwemaxxowner

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Apr 15, 2020
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Just got into a little bit of a (mild) argument with the wife about the time I'm spending with the pool.

"I started testing the pool when she could also just run a sample up to the pool store for free."

I get home from work and then I have to go out to the pool for a bit instead of helping jump on dinner and watching the little one, cleaning, etc.

I tried to explain that I need daily results until I know more about what's normal for the pool and it'll be less time consuming for me to keep it all right.

"But how did it run just fine all these years without all that"

I don't have an answer for her. It's a valid question that I've wondered myself. It's always been a pretty trouble free pool. Keep a mineral pack in the frog, dip the test strip in, add chlorine tablets if it says we're low, PH down if necessary, etc. Didn't take much time and it ran just fine.

I tried to explain to her that it should work just fine until the stabilizer levels are too high, at which point you can't keep enough chlorine in it and you have an algae outbreak that you can't cure. Then you have to drain and refill and it starts all over again. I tried to explain that the stabilizer level is now very close to that number so I need things to be just right.

The problem is that's never really happened. An algae outbreak that couldn't be cured. She's not really convinced and idk what to say.

Have any of y'all been in a similar situation? I'm getting push back from her and from her grand dad who gave us this pool for trying to change the way we do things here.

Surely I'm not the first. What did y'all say to help drive the point home?
 
Last edited:

Arizonarob

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When that little one is (or starts) swimming, you want to have the safest water possible for the health of everyone.
Drop the mic and walk out of the room.
 

PoolGate

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It doesn't need that much time. At some point soon it will be dialed in and you'll be spending a lot less time with it. I'm at the point where i test 2-3 times a week just for chlorine and ph (quick test) and maybe once a month for everything else.
 
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Rancho Cost-a-Lotta

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Apr 10, 2018
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You should have a good grasp on your pool's FC and pH by now. No real reason to test daily. You don't need to test TA more than once a week and tests like CH and CYA you can do monthly or even seasonally. You pool does require daily attention, but that should take only few minutes each day. Do it while kids are in the bath or in bed or wake up a few minutes early and do it before work.
 
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Leebo

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I get home from work and then I have to go out to the pool for a bit instead of helping jump on dinner and watching the little one, cleaning, etc.

Everybody here is on your side. We all know in short time you’ll have the pool dialed in. Forget trying to convince her you’re right, instead change this quote above.

To me it sounds like maybe she’s at home all day running things while you’re at work. Maybe she’s used to working and getting the break, maybe she’s used to the kids being at school, maybe I’m simply guessing totally wrong. Regardless, I suspect the quote above is a reason for the friction. Rather than making a B-line to the pool, do the daily tasks after supper. Maybe wake up 10-15 minutes early in the morning and do the cleaning then.
 

setsailsoon

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Can't believe it was already 5 years ago but I had serious resistance from Sr Management getting started with TFP methods as well. First it seemed like I was over-testing everything (I was) and second Robin was pretty sure we'd end up with a green pool. I think what got me over this with her was explaining how the cost savings could be very good. I was thinking some new tools, she was thinking a purse or shoes but it worked. @kimkats helped me not mess up the pool and the savings just piled up! We actually saved enough with generic chemicals to do some of both!

Chris
 

JJ_Tex

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After being married for 19 years, I'm going to translate wife speak for you. What she is basically saying is that she has the kid and chores all day while you are at work, and when you come home you disappear to the pool and she is still with the kid and chores. She really doesnt care about TFP vs the old ways of doing stuff.

To solve that, take the kid with you to do your pool stuff. Depending on how old they are, you may have to get creative with 1 handed testing/brushing, have a carrier out there, etc. But that way you can do your pool stuff and mom gets a bit of relief from one of her duties when you get home.
 

carnivalday

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Oct 25, 2017
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Yeah, this definitely isnt about the pool, it about you. As soon as you come home from work you go out to the pool? Have you lost your mind?? Pool time is way down the list, under Spend Time With family. You can do that pool time anytime, after dinner, when the kids are put down for bed, early in the morning. Just rearrange your schedule, and Im pretty sure the wife wont care what you do with the pool.
 

setsailsoon

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Shoes and purses are also pretty important!
 
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mguzzy

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Yeah, this definitely isnt about the pool, it about you. As soon as you come home from work you go out to the pool? Have you lost your mind?? Pool time is way down the list, under Spend Time With family. You can do that pool time anytime, after dinner, when the kids are put down for bed, early in the morning. Just rearrange your schedule, and Im pretty sure the wife wont care what you do with the pool.
OMG! we have ALL lost our minds... been there done that. I like "come home and take the kids to help do the testing..." This is what I did. I gave the kids the test strips and I used the drops, then we compared. it was a game!.... and spin how doing the pool this way will save time and money in the end.. (it will). What until you get into the "I wanna install an SWG" discussion. And you'll save even more time.
You are in the initial curve of learning your pool with the TFP method. once you get a handle on how it behaves you'll relax the testing so you will know what to test for and when.
 
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mwemaxxowner

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Apr 15, 2020
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No I have not lost my mind. (Thanks though) There is a very small window of time between when I get home from work, and when it's time for us to sit down to eat. Then it's time for bath, brushing teeth, bedtime stories, and lying down with the little one until she's asleep.

My question was how to teach her that what we've been doing isn't right, even though " it ran fine all these years".

I come home, come in first, assess things, and then when I can go out to skim, test, dose, etc the pool while I have time. When she will come I do bring my daughter out with me to "help". I give her one of the syringes that I brought home from work, and she more or less uses it as a miniature water gun. Lol. She also likes when I make pink water, and she thinks I'm going to make the pool pink. She's already swimming. She's a water bug through and through.

There are only so many hours in the day, otherwise I'd be out there at 11 PM. I guess I'll just get up earlier to tend to it before I go to work.

I'm hoping to convince her than sooner or later the old way was asking for trouble.

We both work very hard.
 
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kimkats

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Jul 10, 2012
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OH my yes!!! ONLY I am the wife and hubby is the one that wanted the pool BUT I am the one that cares for it............In the beginning I did test every day.........then I test ONLY for FC and pH every day.............then I only tested FC every day.............Now....I hardly test at all! I can tell by looking at my pool what it needs.........This BLEW @setsailsoon mind when I told HIM that one day he will know what his pool needed with out testing...........He made sure to tell me when this happened for him!! I was/am SO proud of him! Look at him now...........a TFP Guide!!!

Now saying that what I did was keep a journal with notes about any big weather events-HOT sun all day long, RAIN all day long, cloudy no rain, BIG rain, etc. After a while I knew what would happen for each big weather event. I DO test before I add muriatic acid to lower the pH. For the FC I just add an average for the season of chlorine. I know that during the hot time it needs 6 cups of chlorine each day, burrrrr months it is a cup every 3 days.

So add up the costs of the chemicals before TFP and after TFP. Money talks!

Good luck and happy convincing!

Kim:kim:
 

BMK

Bronze Supporter
Mar 29, 2016
450
SW PA
I agree with the others...from your wife's perspective, it's not what you're doing, it's when you're doing it.

My personal rule of thumb: pool testing and routine maintenence is done in addition to any other family considerations... never instead of. My kids are old enough at this point that i can usually find 20 minutes or so where i'm not needed elsewhere. If not, i just get up a little earlier the next day.

That said, my 8 year old daughter really likes to help test (for now anyway), so that loosely moves that task into the 'family activity' category, which allows for greater leeway and forgivibility.?
 

carnivalday

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Oct 25, 2017
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Ocala, FL
Daily test results only take a few minutes. Are you doing the tests out by the pool? Any reason why you can just scoop some water, and then come in the house to test. Im sure it takes far less time for you to run a test than to run to the pool store with water. And as Kim said, you wont have to run tests every day. Theres several tests I only do once a week, pH and FC Ill do every couple of days. I can run the entire group of tests in 15 minutes. My "have you lost your mind" comment was made in jest, I hope you didnt take offense. We have all been there, one way or the other.
 

Newdude

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Jun 16, 2019
6,222
NY
My "have you lost your mind" comment was made in jest, I hope you didnt take offense. We have all been there, one way or the other.
Any of us that got through that stage know the jest, and the answer. Of COURSE he has !!!! Little kids scramble your brain and you're lucky if you can think straight ever, much less everyday.
 

smracing

Well-known member
Jun 1, 2011
237
Carlsbad, NM
It can be tough to convince someone. I managed to get by for 12 years without this website and I have friends that manage with pucks. Many people find this site once they get in trouble. I know the science is correct, that is why I do it.
 

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