I don't know who to believe
Me! Soft water: yes! SWG: definitely.
A water softener will help with the CH build up you'll encounter where you live. It'll help the longevity of your indoor plumbing, fixtures and appliances, too.
A saltwater pool will not adversely affect anything in your yard or pool. That is some sort of wives-tale that floats around. I've noticed it's somewhat area-centric. I think Texas is one of those areas. Maybe AZ, too.
Besides, all pools are saltwater pools eventually. Chlorine, pool acid, humans and even fill water, all leave salt water behind as a by-product. That salt doesn't evaporate and eventually builds up in your pool, to the point that you'll have almost as much salt as an SWG pool. That's pretty much true of all pools, unless you replace the water annually.
Saltwater definitely won't affect pool equipment (plumbing, filter, pump, etc). They are made for that. Some believe that saltwater will affect certain types of stone coping. We have not found that to be the case. It's the water, not the salt, that tears apart soft stone products. If builders are experiencing problems with their stone installations, it's the stone they're sourcing, not the salt. Work with your builder to source a high-quality stone, if that's what you plan to use. Otherwise, go with concrete. They can do amazing things with stamped concrete, for both deck and coping. (It's what I'd do if I was to replace my deck and coping.)
I have soft sandstone coping. I do have some deterioration. That deterioration existed
before I converted the pool to SWG. It has not gotten worse since I did (it's still deteriorating at about the same rate). The stone is mostly OK, but the worst of the damage is right in front of the steps, which is the area that gets wet more often than anywhere else. The same stone elsewhere in my yard is unaffected. It's the water, not the salt. It's the quality of the stone, not the salt.