Our neighbors expect an invitation to swim...

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When I got the house/pool my brother offered to "house sit" whenever I left town. I told him thanks, but not to bother - I have plenty of cameras and motion sensors inside and out. I did need him to add acid for me after new plaster was applied. He brought his dog and she fell in. I have good instincts, if not good judgment.
 
We bought our house three years ago and had a contract with the owner but had not closed yet. The previous owner had moved out so I was meeting the inspector there to do our inspection. I thought I heard some noise coming from the back when I pulled into the driveway, but I wasn't really concerned. The inspector gets there and we go into the house and through the back window I can see about 6 people in the pool. I go out back and say hello and one lady asks me rather rudely who I was. I told her I'm the new homeowner and she says, "Oh, XXXX lets us swim whenever we want. We love this pool!" I said, "Well, we close on the house next Tuesday. I guess you can enjoy it until then."

I found out later the lady didn't even live in our neighborhood. She was a friend of the previous owner's daughter and lived about 10 miles away.
 
These are rather foreign problems for me. Of the eight properties immediately surrounding mine, six have swimming pools, and one of them is my son. Here, it seems, everyone who wants a pool has one.

At my previous home in Massachusetts, we did have a neighbor who coerced an invitation to use the pool once, then "assumed" that was an open invitation to use it other times when we weren't home.
 
The neighbors across the street are nice people. I've been thinking I should invite them some day.
One day last year the wife of the couple asked to see the renovated pool and mentioned something about
the previous owner. Didn't say anything about swimming, but I think she's mad I haven't invited them over.

They just had a new roof put on and 2 days ago I saw her outside and said loudly: "roof looks great!"
She completely ignored me and went inside.
 
We once had a neighbor we had never even met call us and pretty much tell us she was coming over with her kids. My wife firmly said no and the woman said, "but it's so hot". My wife said, "then you should build a pool".

I'm afraid to have anyone house sit because I'm afraid they'll have a pool party (liability city).
But I'm afraid to leave the pool unattended for more than four or so days unattended, so it really cramps our vacation options. I may have to find a pool guy who will come only when I'm on vacation...

And when we do invite people, they drink all my beer and all my munchies, and if my wife barbecues, that too.
One family bring more beer than they drink. Always. They get invited every time we use the pool.
 
I put up a 10' full privacy fence around the pool last year and it seemed to cut way back on those incidences. Out of sight, out of mind? I think it also sends an unspoken message.
 

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Rickster, re:
I have one,
but I'm a worry wart engineer who thinks the the pump bearing will go bad or a pipe will break or something tragic...
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Lol. Hubby knew I was thinking along the same lines when we had to go out of town a few weeks back, so he set up a nanny-cam on my equipment pad. Unfortunately, the resolution wasn't good enough to read the automation panel, but he figured I could at least watch if the system blew ;)

Nonetheless, I had my employee and his girlfriend house-sit. GF said she's happy to mind the compound anytime and we should travel more. We left the second-best scotch out ;)
 
I have had several acquaintances at work (not my work friends) ask me flat out when they can come over to swim or when I'm going to have a party. Thankfully, I truthfully tell them that hubby works nights on my days off and is asleep during the day, so having anyone besides my kids and grandkids over is not possible. They still keep asking though, which just amazes me! I was raised that you never ask for stuff or invite yourself places. It's just so rude!
 
harleysilo said:
We went with 8' when we built, heard later some neighbors referred to our house as Fort Harleysilo LOL!
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Thats funny, my house is known as Sandals resort at Fort Thomas. Part of my privacy fence is actually retaining wall. My 6x6's are about 12' out of the ground at the corner of my yard.

My neighbors are all cool. When I was installing the pool they all came over to help, at least the ones that would ever ask to swim. 2-3 nights a week we have guests over and we all take turns cooking and buying beer. I am lucky to have so many close friends in the hood. I have a nice bar by the pool and they all know that if my flag is hanging by the gate the pool is open, if not stay the heck out! LOL You might see something you don't want too:laughblue:
 
Back in the day we had some good neighbors who lived catty-cornered across the street. I tied a yard pink flamingo on a rope and flipped it over to the front side of the gate so they knew it was cool to come on over. Other neighbors now say-----------"Umbrellas Up = Party On!"
 
It's crazy to me that people are fine asking to use the pool.

I'm just here for hot tub advice; but my neighbor has a great pool! When we first moved in, our neighbors were an elderly couple who no longer used their pool; but kept it up so that their grandkids could use it. I'd love to walk over and chat with them, and frequently sat by the pool with them. They made lots of offers to let us use it which I always decline. It's not that I wouldn't love to use their pool; it's just, I dunno, that feels weird to me. I've certainly swam in friends pool when they were there too; but using their pool whenthey aren't using it, I dunno.

Now a younger couple lives next door after the sweet elderly couple moved into an apartment (so they didn't have to do any home maintenance anymore). They've never invited us. So... problem solved! :D To be honest, until I read this thread I had never considered that they had never invited us to swim. I guess I never expected them to. Why would they?

Reading this thread; it's just crazy that people expect to be invited, or feel entitled to their neighbors pool. We share a lake house with family and I don't even like drifting over and swimming behind the neighbors dock. But there have been times I head down to the dock to get the boat or the jet ski's out; but I have to wait. Because some guy in a bass boat is directly behind the watercraft I want to use, is shushing me on my own dock and I suppose feels entitled to troll along and fish underneath my dock. Granted, it's a public waterway. But I mean come on dude! (I guess I could be mean about it; I'm just not a confrontational person. So I sit and wait for them to troll away, then watch them get angry and annoyed when I fire up the jet ski and ride away; apparently scaring away all of their fish.)
 
Inviting your self over to swim is really, really rude. Swimming first and asking later is worse. The first year I bought my house when it snowed I looked out the back window to see kids on my hill sledding. I was a bit confused and went out to see why they were there. Same story as some of the above, "The previous owner let us all sled here". I didn't mind per se but my thoughts went to liability. One of the parents came over once with one of the kids and just walked past me into the backyard to sled. Rude. They moved out of the neighborhood a few years ago and the sledding group has been waning. Since we just put in the pool, there can no longer be any sledding since the pool (and fence) is right at the top of the hill. One of the neighbors even commented that no one could sled anymore. "Oh darn, yeah" was my thoughts with a Homer Simpson like "Hee hee hee".
 

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