I understand that you have to maintain a working relationship with these people and I can also understand things happening that might cause some delays. But I seem to see a pattern in these forums of PBs constantly not delivering as they should be and most of the pool owners powerless to do much about it. Just seems messed up to me. If you say you're going to do something you should mean it, sounds like many of these PBs are chronic liars. As a self-employed person myself I try and treat all my customers with respect, set realistic timelines for delivering work and make them all happy regardless of the size of the job.
As far as trees go if you cut it right it will fall away from you and you can then plant a new one to take its place.