NO Sense of Urgency

I couldn't agree with you more!

Get off my lawn!!!

Boomer

I am going to assume that I am one of the younger members on this forum and toss my 2 cents in here...I used to be of that mind set, the "everything has a sense of urgency" mindset. Gotta go, gotta move, no time to waste...until I realized...what's the rush? Obviously there are exceptions, deadlines, emergencies, flights...etc. But again...what's the rush? Hurry up to wait? Are five to ten minutes going to make THAT much of a difference? Also, who are these today's kids? Your kids? Then that kinda falls on you as the parent... I see a lot of blame tossed around for the way people are, regardless of age....but it's never the parent's fault. It always, the TV, the video games, the teachers, the movies, the facebook...

Now adding to what Newdude said about people ghosting on sale threads and social media and such, I can see how it's easy to do that. You are not real to them...you are just a screen or a message. There is ZERO consequence to bail on you.

I’m a Gen X’er …. all other generations after mine suck!

Now get the heck off my ….. rocks. (We don’t have lawns in Tucson)

MiguelACA said:

You are not real to them...you are just a screen or a message.

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And that is the problem.

Is there a real person at the other side of this message?

Do I treat you with respect as a person or should you be treated as a machine through this device?

PoolGate said:

Absolutely, 100%, NO sense of urgency, at all. Zip. Zero. Nada.

Today's kids. They really just simply don't care. They are late, they are late. Who cares, they sure don't. So sad. We are doomed.

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Sadly, Only if it benefits them & even then, sometimes not a care. After all most of their parents will often swoop in & “fix” everything - maybe not for you or whomever was jilted, but for them in the long run.
What we’re sorely lacking is consequences.
Now, what’s really grinding your gears ?

You dang kids driving crazy and texting!! You don’t see us doing that because we listened to music while driving… and GOOD music too like Johnny Cash not that garbage you all listen to in your Ear-Pods!!!

JoyfulNoise said:

You dang kids driving crazy and texting!! You don’t see us doing that because we listened to music while driving… and GOOD music too like Johnny Cash not that garbage you all listen to in your Ear-Pods!!!

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I lived this. Fortunately I had a bench seat in my pickup so I didn't have to balance it on my legs and the wheel.

--Jeff

@JoyfulNoise omg. Keeping those babies scratch free! Haha.
I’m on the border between gen x and millineal so these convos are always fun.
My daughter (age 4) just recently asked me what a DVD was so it’s not looking good.

We let our friend borrow one of our vehicles- it was an early 90’s model toyota pickup w/ crank windows & a tape player - his kids were enamored with them!

At the large company I used to work for we had a series of classes to train us on how to work with the younger workers (gen x’ers at the time). It was hilarious. Among other things, we we’re told not to expect them to be as devoted to the job as we were, not to expect them to adhere to set working hours, to expect that their personal lives were going to override the importance of their work lives. We talked about the diversionary activities they needed during the work day including video games in the break room. I didn’t find a lot of what we were told to be necessarily true but it sure clouded our views of them.

revitup said:

… Among other things, we we’re told not to expect them to be as devoted to the job as we were, not to expect them to adhere to set working hours, to expect that their personal lives were going to override the importance of their work lives. ….

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I would say this is true but only because we learned a valuable lesson from the experiences of our parents generation - employers no longer wanted “people” they wanted “Human Resources”. Our parents, the boomers, were under the (false) impression that all they needed to do was get skills (either blue collar or white collar skills), find a job in town, and then they would have that lovely, bucolic middle class life with 40 years of uninterrupted employment culminating in a retirement party where the boss would hand them a souvenir gold Rolex watch, a plaque with their name on it and a hearty handshake for 30+ years of dedicated service …. then reality revealed that to be an utter farce.

So Gen-X’ers learned that employers are basically only out for one thing - their bottom line. That’s fine, we get that. But, as a result of that reality, if you want our skills and energy on the job, then be advised that we will be as equally uncommitted and always on the lookout for better wages and opportunities. We also demand that they respect the concept of work/life balance - I don’t exist to be a “human resource”, I exist to be a human being. Therefore my family, my health, my well being and my hobbies in life are just as important, if not more so, the “the job”. I’ll put in my 40 hours, take my paycheck on Friday and then, after that, I own the job nothing more. If you want me back on Monday morning, just make sure my keycard badge access still opens the front door. If not, give me shout on Sunday night and let me know if I need to bring a cardboard box with me to clean out my desk.

That’s the “new paradigm” that industry and business shifted to when they canned my old man decade after decade of service. Having witnessed his frustration with that, I was pretty much sold on the notion that I owe any employer of mine NOTHING but a 40 hour work week with a 41 min lunch break each day. That’s the reality of Gen-X work attitudes … at least that’s the lesson me and many of my friends learned

PoolGate said:

Yeah I am GenX. Kids are at their mom's for 2 weeks and then with me for 2 weeks. The bus only comes to one location which is my house. One of my Daughter's stipulations when she got her car was she would drive her brother here to catch his bus at 6:15am. I call them in the morning to make sure they are up which they are usually never until I call. The other morning she texted me at 5:30 saying they were already up. Great I though. Around 6:00am I called to see where they are and she had fallen back asleep but says no problem they will get up right now and leave. I call again at 6:12 asking if they are already here. No didn't leave yet still getting ready. So she had to drive him to his school and missed the bus. This morning, roughly the same thing but raced and got here as I held up the bus for a couple minutes (driver is used to it by now). Just no sense of urgency.

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I guess she could just drop him off every day for a bit - sounds like a good penance (& natural consequence), especially if its an inconvenience to her. Kinda like the “get along shirt”.
For years I used to hurry my kids along in the mornings for every step making sure they had everything, got up on time etc. I grew tired of nagging (& they did too) so one day I explained to them that they were old enough to manage their own time & I was just the ride & I (we) leave @ 7:35 no matter if they are ready or not . I do make sure their alarms are set the night before but they are on the hook for their eating/cleaning up breakfast (we discuss the options the night before), lunch (if they don’t want what the school offers), & all their peripherals/provisions. It took a few really rough hair days & some forgotten articles but they have been quite self sufficient since. I on the other hand get up, drink my coffee, & get in the car. No more nagging- they have realized their actions (or lack of) have natural consequences that I won’t be shielding them from. Most times they’re in the car before me! Its nice to not start our day with someone in a foul mood now too. Much more positive.
This book set me free in alot of ways

Mdragger88 said:

I guess she could just drop him off every day for a bit - sounds like a good penance (& natural consequence), especially if its an inconvenience to her. Kinda like the “get along shirt”.
For years I used to hurry my kids along in the mornings for every step making sure they had everything, got up on time etc. I grew tired of nagging (& they did too) so one day I explained to them that they were old enough to manage their own time & I was just the ride & I (we) leave @ 7:35 no matter if they are ready or not . I do make sure their alarms are set the night before but they are on the hook for their eating/cleaning up breakfast (we discuss the options the night before), lunch (if they don’t want what the school offers), & all their peripherals/provisions. It took a few really rough hair days & some forgotten articles but they have been quite self sufficient since. I on the other hand get up, drink my coffee, & get in the car. No more nagging- they have realized their actions (or lack of) have natural consequences that I won’t be shielding them from. Most times they’re in the car before me! Its nice to not start our day with someone in a foul mood now too. Much more positive.
This book set me free in alot of ways
View attachment 387698

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Hahahah … Love & Logic is another great “natural consequences” program for parents. Kids hate it, so you know it works.

Your story is great as that was exactly my morning today - I was literally rolling down the driveway with 2 of my 3 boys in the car because the middle boy is a teenage day-dreaming airhead in the morning. He gets up at 6am but just meanders around all morning long. At 7:30am we roll down the driveway no matter who is in the car. He literally came hopping down the driveway, one sneaker on and one in hand towing his backpack with a bagel in his mouth yelling for me to wait. I pulled into the street and opens the side door on the minivan and yelled, “You coming or what!!?!?” He jumped in the car. He gets all flustered with me when I do that but I figure he’ll eventually get the point. It’s slowly sinking in because there were at least two days last week when he was ready to go and sitting in the car before anyone else. Slowly, slowly, slowly he’ll figure it out ….

PoolGate said:

Yeah I am GenX. Kids are at their mom's for 2 weeks and then with me for 2 weeks. The bus only comes to one location which is my house. One of my Daughter's stipulations when she got her car was she would drive her brother here to catch his bus at 6:15am. I call them in the morning to make sure they are up which they are usually never until I call. The other morning she texted me at 5:30 saying they were already up. Great I though. Around 6:00am I called to see where they are and she had fallen back asleep but says no problem they will get up right now and leave. I call again at 6:12 asking if they are already here. No didn't leave yet still getting ready. So she had to drive him to his school and missed the bus. This morning, roughly the same thing but raced and got here as I held up the bus for a couple minutes (driver is used to it by now). Just no sense of urgency.

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Wow, that's a tough arrangement. It's a good bargain you made with your daughter to teach her that the car comes with a responsibility but I can easily see a teenager messing that up a lot. My oldest is on the verge of taking his driving test (we're holding him back a bit because I think he needs a little more practice first .... and I'm really not looking forward to my auto insurance going ups $800 per year as soon as he gets his full license) and he's a very conscientious kid so I could see him doing that kind of chore well. But my middle boy is a complete airhead in the morning and I would expect a lot more late arrivals to school if I tasked him with driving anyone anywhere

But yeah, I see your frustration ...