Quick update: I finished mortaring. It was a lot of work but I'm glad I did (vs construction adhesive) so that I could level the stones, work around the skimmer better, and most of all give aslight upward angle to the coping so that drinks don't slide into the pool

. And I gained a new skill.
I'll do the expansion joint in the next couple days. I decided to put in the backer rod AFTER the coping was mortared, and I'm glad I did as it would have complicated things.
JamesW: I saw these at Home Depot but they felt like as soon as they got squeezed they got limp, unlike a backer rod that takes back its shape. I don't know if it matters so much, but in the end, with 1/2" to work with for an expansion joint, I just used a trowel to squeeze out the mortar that came out the back when hammering down the coping. That only happened for a couple tiles considering I put more mortar at the front than the back to give that slight angle. Some mortar fell in the pool... big deal. Filter will filter.
My only cause of concern left is the "grouting". The coping stones are tight but not tight enough everywhere to have a "no grout" situation typical of travertine (as I learned). I was going to put in sikaflex self-leveling sealant on top of my backer rod in the expansion joint... should I add some between the coping stones too???