NO Sense of Urgency

Wow, that's a tough arrangement. It's a good bargain you made with your daughter to teach her that the car comes with a responsibility but I can easily see a teenager messing that up a lot. My oldest is on the verge of taking his driving test (we're holding him back a bit because I think he needs a little more practice first .... and I'm really not looking forward to my auto insurance going ups $800 per year as soon as he gets his full license) and he's a very conscientious kid so I could see him doing that kind of chore well. But my middle boy is a complete airhead in the morning and I would expect a lot more late arrivals to school if I tasked him with driving anyone anywhere :ROFLMAO:

But yeah, I see your frustration ...

$800? Yeah I am more like an additional $3500/year....
 
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$800? Yeah I am more like an additional $3500/year....

Well, I was told at the time of my renewal last June that they "estimated" it would increase my insurance by $800 per year .... I'm 100% certain that will not be the number when it actually happens. I've already been prepping the groundwork with lots of comments about "part time job" and "think of all the money you'll earn that you can totally spend on whatever ...". It's going to be a blast the first time he comes home from filling up his own car with gas and hear him whine about how much it costs!! I'm going to do a little happy dance in the kitchen when that happens ...
 
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It's going to be a blast the first time he comes home from filling up his own car with gas and hear him whine about how much it costs!! I'm going to do a little happy dance in the kitchen when that happens ...
Wait till he gets his first paycheck !!!!
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Hahahah … Love & Logic is another great “natural consequences” program for parents. Kids hate it, so you know it works.

Your story is great as that was exactly my morning today - I was literally rolling down the driveway with 2 of my 3 boys in the car because the middle boy is a teenage day-dreaming airhead in the morning. He gets up at 6am but just meanders around all morning long. At 7:30am we roll down the driveway no matter who is in the car. He literally came hopping down the driveway, one sneaker on and one in hand towing his backpack with a bagel in his mouth yelling for me to wait. I pulled into the street and opens the side door on the minivan and yelled, “You coming or what!!?!?” He jumped in the car. He gets all flustered with me when I do that but I figure he’ll eventually get the point. It’s slowly sinking in because there were at least two days last week when he was ready to go and sitting in the car before anyone else. Slowly, slowly, slowly he’ll figure it out ….
I am waiting to see how bossy my daughter will become when it’s her task to drive her brother to school 🤣
The time is slowly approaching… she’s set to get her permit next week 😱
A whole new chapter of fun & learning!
I will have to check that book out u mentioned - i was thinking of re reading the one I mentioned as it’s been a while. It’s really about molding your kiddo’s into little self sufficient humans & have them subsequently empowered by their own accomplishments/achievements as well as instilling an attitude of gratitude throughout the family. Just like Cesar Milan teaches - the cause of their issues usually begins with our own actions. Kids definitely keep u on your toes! What a ride!
I hope @PoolGate can come up with a fitting solution for this particular situation - it can be quite trying w/ teenagers- sometimes u gotta get creative 😉
 
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It's around $1800 to have her on the policy driving any car and an additional $1800 for her car ('22 Corolla). This area is SUPER expensive.

Geez Louise. Though I get it - we pay a lot for insurance around here in LA too. 🙁

Our rates would be very low because the state of AZ is fairly large with a small population (~ 7M people). BUT, our crazy insurance rates are driven solely by the fact that a HUGE portion of the driving population drives uninsured (there's no provision in State law that requires proof of insurance to register a vehicle OR get a driver's license). I pay more here than I ever did living in Southern California OR when we lived in NYC (da' Bronx). Believe it or not, the only time I ever paid low insurance rates was when we lived for a few years in Boston, MA ... now that's crazy talk :crazy:
 
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Our rates would be very low because the state of AZ is fairly large with a small population (~ 7M people). BUT, our crazy insurance rates are driven solely by the fact that a HUGE portion of the driving population drives uninsured (there's no provision in State law that requires proof of insurance to register a vehicle OR get a driver's license). I pay more here than I ever did living in Southern California OR when we lived in NYC (da' Bronx). Believe it or not, the only time I ever paid low insurance rates was when we lived for a few years in Boston, MA ... now that's crazy talk :crazy:
Insurance rates vary A LOT depending on where you live, type of car, other drivers on the policy, credit rating, etc etc etc. Used to be where I could rate using a formula on a piece of paper. They have made the rating so much more confusing these days with over 100 factors sometimes. The range though is probably in the area of 1K plus to add a teen. Worse if they have their own car. I see some people buying their kids very expensive BMWs, and such and I only think...why???
 
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I am going to assume that I am one of the younger members on this forum and toss my 2 cents in here...I used to be of that mind set, the "everything has a sense of urgency" mindset. Gotta go, gotta move, no time to waste...until I realized...what's the rush? Obviously there are exceptions, deadlines, emergencies, flights...etc. But again...what's the rush? Hurry up to wait? Are five to ten minutes going to make THAT much of a difference? Also, who are these today's kids? Your kids? Then that kinda falls on you as the parent... I see a lot of blame tossed around for the way people are, regardless of age....but it's never the parent's fault. It always, the TV, the video games, the teachers, the movies, the facebook...

Now adding to what Newdude said about people ghosting on sale threads and social media and such, I can see how it's easy to do that. You are not real to them...you are just a screen or a message. There is ZERO consequence to bail on you.
I agree with you. I keep hearing "we are doomed" because of the next generation, blah blah blah. But EVERY generation says this about the next , haha. They used to say "Rock N Roll" would rot the next generation. But somehow, we keep rolling along!

A more relaxed life isn't a bad thing. I mean, Europe has been doing it forever. Hopefully the next generation has less stress than mine, not a bad thing.
 
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Insurance rates vary A LOT depending on where you live, type of car, other drivers on the policy, credit rating, etc etc etc. Used to be where I could rate using a formula on a piece of paper. They have made the rating so much more confusing these days with over 100 factors sometimes. The range though is probably in the area of 1K plus to add a teen. Worse if they have their own car. I see some people buying their kids very expensive BMWs, and such and I only think...why???

Yeah, makes sense. My broker is constantly policy shopping for us. Seems like every year she calls to tell me that she thinks she’s found a different policy/carrier mix to save me money. I’ve probably switched carriers like 3 or 4 times in the last 10 years. Compare that to my parents and they probably had the same insurance policy and broker the entire 40 years they lived in NY.

My son is eager to get his license because grandma is in the market to buy a new car and she’s planning to “gift” her current set of wheels to her oldest grandson (maybe make him pay $1 for it). It’s not a fancy car (2015 Chevy Cruze) and it’s got the typical super low “grandma only drives it to the grocery store” mileage on it. But I’m sure between his license and the third car, I’ll be hitting $2000 more per year in auto coverage.

I hear ya about the fancy cars for kids … dumbest thing ever. Just the other day I saw one of my sons older friends driving his BRAND NEW 2021 Chevy pickup truck his parents bought him as a Christmas gift 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I know the kid well enough that I wouldn’t let him drive a rented Yugo let alone a new truck but … oh well ….
 

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My broker is constantly policy shopping for us. Seems like every year she calls to tell me that she thinks she’s found a different policy/carrier mix to save me money
Rumor has it that any carrier just raises their rates over and over and most folks would get a better deal with anyone after a few policies.

As long as the new customers outnumber the churn, the executives pat themselves on the golden chutes.
 
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Yeah, makes sense. My broker is constantly policy shopping for us. Seems like every year she calls to tell me that she thinks she’s found a different policy/carrier mix to save me money. I’ve probably switched carriers like 3 or 4 times in the last 10 years. Compare that to my parents and they probably had the same insurance policy and broker the entire 40 years they lived in NY.

My son is eager to get his license because grandma is in the market to buy a new car and she’s planning to “gift” her current set of wheels to her oldest grandson (maybe make him pay $1 for it). It’s not a fancy car (2015 Chevy Cruze) and it’s got the typical super low “grandma only drives it to the grocery store” mileage on it. But I’m sure between his license and the third car, I’ll be hitting $2000 more per year in auto coverage.

I hear ya about the fancy cars for kids … dumbest thing ever. Just the other day I saw one of my sons older friends driving his BRAND NEW 2021 Chevy pickup truck his parents bought him as a Christmas gift 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I know the kid well enough that I wouldn’t let him drive a rented Yugo let alone a new truck but … oh well ….

We are at $4800/year for 4 cars all full coverage. Before my daughter and her car it was around $1600/year.
 
Hearing about the fancy first cars makes me remember how lame my first car was! Though I was just happy to have it.
 
Rumor has it that any carrier just raises their rates over and over and most folks would get a better deal with anyone after a few policies.

As long as the new customers outnumber the churn, the executives pat themselves on the golden chutes.
It depends on where you are. If you are in South Florida, CA or certain parts of CO, you better hold on to whatever policy you have. Cat areas are being hit hard and finding a decent policy is getting harder every day.
 
I would say this is true but only because we learned a valuable lesson from the experiences of our parents generation - employers no longer wanted “people” they wanted “Human Resources”. Our parents, the boomers, were under the (false) impression that all they needed to do was get skills (either blue collar or white collar skills), find a job in town, and then they would have that lovely, bucolic middle class life with 40 years of uninterrupted employment culminating in a retirement party where the boss would hand them a souvenir gold Rolex watch, a plaque with their name on it and a hearty handshake for 30+ years of dedicated service …. then reality revealed that to be an utter farce.

So Gen-X’ers learned that employers are basically only out for one thing - their bottom line. That’s fine, we get that. But, as a result of that reality, if you want our skills and energy on the job, then be advised that we will be as equally uncommitted and always on the lookout for better wages and opportunities. We also demand that they respect the concept of work/life balance - I don’t exist to be a “human resource”, I exist to be a human being. Therefore my family, my health, my well being and my hobbies in life are just as important, if not more so, the “the job”. I’ll put in my 40 hours, take my paycheck on Friday and then, after that, I own the job nothing more. If you want me back on Monday morning, just make sure my keycard badge access still opens the front door. If not, give me shout on Sunday night and let me know if I need to bring a cardboard box with me to clean out my desk.

That’s the “new paradigm” that industry and business shifted to when they canned my old man decade after decade of service. Having witnessed his frustration with that, I was pretty much sold on the notion that I owe any employer of mine NOTHING but a 40 hour work week with a 41 min lunch break each day. That’s the reality of Gen-X work attitudes … at least that’s the lesson me and many of my friends learned 😉
What a shame. I worked for a great company that appreciated the extra effort and time I put in. I enjoyed my career (I didn’t regard it as just a ‘job’) and I felt they deserved some loyalty for giving me the opportunities they did. They rewarded me with 35 years of employment, a contribution to my 401k, and a pension when I retired. Not to mention the friendships and comraderie I made and experienced for that significant portion of my life. I guess it works both ways.
 
So I texted and called 4 times so far this morning. I am going to play the "are we there yet" card.
Let the cards fall where they may ….
You’ve done your best.
I’m sure that phone has an alarm.
Another motivator (besides the carting of your son to school) could be fines or loss of privileges 🤷‍♀️
As Dr.Phil says - “you gotta find their money”
Its better for her to experience natural consequences now, while under your wing than to not learn from this & get fired as an adult for being late.
It’s also not fair to hold up the entire bus route- if every stop did that all the kids would be late every day & the driver might also get in trouble. Not to mention the other kids on the route who are waiting (in the weather) for the bus.
I was a chronically late person myself until I heard someone explain that my actions were showing that I felt my time was more important than those who were waiting on me. That was never my intention but it was the result. Bottom line - it’s selfish & rude & I never considered myself either of those things. It really hit home as I presumed it was a victimless crime.
 
Let the cards fall where they may ….
You’ve done your best.
I’m sure that phone has an alarm.
Another motivator (besides the carting of your son to school) could be fines or loss of privileges 🤷‍♀️
As Dr.Phil says - “you gotta find their money”
Its better for her to experience natural consequences now, while under your wing than to not learn from this & get fired as an adult for being late.
It’s also not fair to hold up the entire bus route- if every stop did that all the kids would be late every day & the driver might also get in trouble. Not to mention the other kids on the route who are waiting (in the weather) for the bus.
I was a chronically late person myself until I heard someone explain that my actions were showing that I felt my time was more important than those who were waiting on me. That was never my intention but it was the result. Bottom line - it’s selfish & rude & I never considered myself either of those things. It really hit home as I presumed it was a victimless crime.

It's actually because of my son's status that we can get away with it. He is mildly autistic and in a special program at a high school not near us. He gets a personal bus that stops at our door and is the first person on the 1 hour ride to his school (he is the farthest out). Waiting a few minutes for him doesn't alter their schedule any. And I don't feel too bad for the bus service anyway since they refuse to pick up at two places even though they are only 10 minutes apart and a 100% consistence schedule of 2 weeks/2 weeks.
 
Oh and they got here around 6:05 this morning. So my son even had time to take the recyclables out. Ha!

It's hard to get mad at my daughter she is up most of the time on time it is waking my son up and keeping him up until he is ready to go that is the rub. My ex should be doing this :mad:. And, my daughter just told me she has decided to go to the local community college for her first 2 years and worked out an arrangement where it will be 100% paid for by her employer and the GI bill. I can't complain about that!
 

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