Corky,
I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a spouse that is your rock and anchor is never easy. You and your spouse are in my prayers.
The solution to your problem is not easy. It is not, however, insurmountable.
You need to be able to test your pool water to know the necessary actions to clear the pool. For that you need a good test kit. Here are the kits we recommend. Link-->
Test Kits Compared
After you order a test kit, add 1 Gallon of Liquid Chorine
per day until you kit arrives. WalMart "Pool Essentials Liquid Chlorine" is a good product.
When your test kit arrives, post a full set of results and we will help you.
You will need to SLAM your pool with our SLAM process. Print these instructions out, read them a few times, and keep the instructions with you. Link-->
SLAM Process
I know this is a difficult time, and Slaming a pool is not easy, but we have helped 1000s of others clear their pools...Link-->
How Clear is TFP Clear?