I just found this thread. I wish I had something technically helpful to offer, but I can say if everyone had a friend like you, the world would be a better place. Good luck to you, and I will be following your progress.
I just keep thinking something is wrong with the filter. Never had a sand filter so I have no idea what could go wrong. Didn't someone mention a gasket?
If you fill a clear bottle with pool water can you see the cloudiness? If so fill the same bottle with water from the return & see if it looks better, a lot better. You might be able to hold a garden hose up to the return to get a sample of the filtered water. Just make sure the hose is empty before starting so you know its water from the filter.
I would seriously consider dumping water. Its been 2 weeks.