I should have been more thorough in describing how I use a pipe wrench in these situations. First, of course, you need to take what the pool gives you in this situation and unscrew the threaded pool side connection (quick release and all). Then, what I do is position my pipe wrench so that pressure applied will apply rotational force in the direction that will separate the two parts. I hold the threaded portion down to the pool deck with my foot and apply gental pressure on the pipe wrench. The two parts will separate easily with no damage to the connectors plastic.
Then, I lube, lube, lube.
IMO, there is definitely an engineering defect in this part. None of us should experience this frustration.
As a member of the club, I empathize with all of you who have faced this problem.
Hope my post helps a little.
I love this forum.
Respectfully,
Caruso