wow....that is a tremendous amount of information and even with a technical background, I have to admit that I got lost a time or two. I will need to give it another read. Just a couple of high level comments at this point and then maybe I can solicit help in nailing down the details later while I still have time. I am concerned that my PB is not sizing based on formulas but on just what he "has always done" in 20 years of building which doesn't mean it is correct. Please let me know if I am off base:
PBs are not engineers so you cannot expect them to work much with formulas. They tend to do things the way they have in the past and you really can't blame them for doing what has worked for them.
* at 34K gallons, I calculate that I would need a pump to deliver about 71 GPM for one turnover in 8 hours
* The PB put in a Pentair SD80 next door (I will have the exact pool) which shows 75 GPM max
Upsizing your filter is usually a good idea. The larger the filter, the more flow it will handle and the less you will need to clean it. So go with the largest your budget can handle.
The rate that I would need for turnover seems to be a pretty good match to the filter. However, that flow rate seems to be pretty high and I am not sure at this point how much head I will have and how that will effect the flow. I guess my point is that it looks like I will need a pretty sporty pump and I cannot make the connection to the whisperflo chart in your hydraulics post for a 3/4 hp being sufficient. I am sure that I got lost in the wilderness somewhere. Also, my runs appear to be much longer than the norms you used. I am trying to keep the equipment nearer the electrical service and tucked out of sight around the corner of my house. A scaled drawing of my proposed pool location would roughly give the following run lengths:
Suction (3 lines per your suggestion)
* Skimmers (single line) @ 105 ft max or 75 ft and 105 ft separate
I would go with separate lines for each skimmer
* dedicated suction line for cleaner @ 85 ft max
* main drain @ 65ft (single line)
Return
* eyeballs (assuming that all tie together and return to pad as a single line) @ 150 ft max
* steps @ 125 ft
* buddy seat @ 60 ft
Again, these seem terribly long. I really wish I had paid more attention to the neighbors build but I do know that there is a valve for the drain, return, dedicated suction, buddy seat and steps. I am going with a Kreepy for now but I may change my mind depending on how well it works for the neighbor. No big water features although my wife is wanting 4 deck jets which I assume will be valved separately. There is the option to move the equipment a bit closer to the pool (around 30 ft max) without it being an eyesore next to the pool. My neighbors distance to pad is similar to ours but they do not have plans for a flow meter. Maybe I can talk them into one

before the plumbing is finalized. The electric rates are not outrageous (yet) in OK but I am up for saving as much as possible since the AC units seem to run around the clock. Having said that, I am not opposed to running on low speed 24/7 and on high for cleaning if that would make sense considering the size of the pool.
Flow meters are not much compared to the cost of the pool so I would ask for it. Also, double check his design to make sure you are getting everything you want (pipe runs, valves, etc.). It is easy for him to change it now rather than after the pipe is laid.
Again, I humbly ask for suggestions and guidance. I am afraid the contract does not specify plumbing diameter but I am pretty sure my PB has said he uses 1.5" as a standard and I dont' recall different sizes for suction and return. I will check the neighbors sizes this afternoon but now is the time to make changes and absorb the cost up front. Thanks!