Missed the house by about 2" ...

[JoyfulNoise]

I totally want one!!

 

[JamesW]

Once you get the tree taken care of, you can go around the neighborhood to offer your expert chainsaw services.

Just don't carry the chainsaw with you on the first visit.

And don't wear the William Shatner mask.

 

[JoyfulNoise]

Once you get the tree taken care of, you can go around the neighborhood to offer your expert chainsaw services.

Just don't carry the chainsaw with you on the first visit.

And don't wear the William Shatner mask.

How about I do my best Jack Nicholson impersonation ?

 

[zea3]

I like playing with chainsaws as much as the next guy but the wife says I have to wait until the end of the month when the life insurance gets paid … hmmmm

I actually have a H/O insurance claim started for some other damage so I’m going to get estimates and see what my insurer is willing to cover. If they don’t want to cover “skilled arborist fees” then perhaps “shiny new 91cc MS661 Magnum Stihl chainsaw ” will be considered a covetable expense ….

No, no, no, you are looking at this all wrong! This is when you tell yourself (and the IRS) "I am an entrepreneur"! This is a deductible business expense! Those arn't just trees on the ground son, they are opportunity laying at your feet! You and your largest child can go around cutting and hauling the pre-harvested bounty and bundling it to sell as smoker wood. You'd be making money out of both ends and teaching your child valuable life lessons!

 

[Oly]

Nice house Matt.

 

[JoyfulNoise]

Nice house Matt.

Thanks. I might leave the tree as-is and just list it on Zillow as “well shaded with lots of privacy …”, “easy access to a treehouse” and “naturally landscaped”.

 

[JamesW]

Maybe you can carve it into an animal, like a grizzly bear?

Maybe you can travel the country solving homeowner problems that can only be solved with a chainsaw?

It can be a new TV show.

Have chainsaw, will travel.

The story of an itinerant lumberjack who helps homeowners who have lost all hope.

Just as despair begins to overwhelm the young couple who are struggling with a problem that they think is hopeless, the mighty hero steps forward to offer a glimpse of hope.

Will he be able to save the day?

Stay tuned, you won't believe what happens!

 

[JoyfulNoise]

“So many of life’s problems can be solved with a chainsaw …”

My grandpa Nunzio said that a lot … and something about concrete but I forgot what exactly

 

[JamesW]

 

[Newdude]

It can be a new TV show

he already has a tv show. I’ll give you some hints

lives in the desert

used to be a real scientist but now just mopes around in his tighty whities

hair isnt what it once was

 

[JoyfulNoise]

Walter White is my hero …

 

[mknauss]

Back to trees.

Willow Acacia is a good desert tree. Pretty clean.

 

[Tcadwall0]

“So many of life’s problems can be solved with a chainsaw …”

My grandpa Nunzio said that a lot … and something about concrete but I forgot what exactly

Nunzio... Had lots of Italian friends growing up. I have forgotten everything that they said if it had the word concrete in the sentence!

 

[Nikilyn]

Back to trees.

Willow Acacia is a good desert tree. Pretty clean.

My son passed away at school and the school planted one of these in his memory. It wasn’t my favorite. It ended up blowing over in a monsoon and they let me pick a new one. I chose a red push pistache. It is now getting to be big and beautiful.

 

[JamesW]

No reason to waste the wood.

Here are some ideas about what you can make from the tree:

A wooden leg for a pirate.
A cane for an elderly neighbor.
A baseball bat for the little league team.
Chopsticks for the next time you go out for Chinese.
A coffee table.
A bust of Abraham Lincoln or Ronald Reagan.
New blades for the ceiling fan.
A picture frame for a picture of the Queen of England.
A birdhouse.
Doghouse.
Spice rack.
Canoe.

 

[JamesW]

Sequoias or Redwoods are nice trees to have.

Maybe consider planting one to replace the fallen tree.

 

[zea3]

Maybe you can carve it into an animal, like a grizzly bear?

After Hurricane Ike killed many trees in Galveston, artists used chainsaws to sculpt the tree stumps. These trees did not get blown over but were killed by several feet of storm surge poisoning them with salt water.

 

[JamesW]

Just be careful with the chainsaw.

Otherwise, in 2041, you will be explaining to your grandkids how you got the nickname "Stumpy".

 

[cowboycasey]

I've known a couple stumpy's and a couple tiny's

 

[AUSpool]

Agreed. While I loved the shade that the tree provided (especially over by the BBQ), it created nothing but a landscape mess. Constant beans, flowers, needles, leaves ... just made a mess of everything and a royal pain in the rear to clean up. When you prune them, it instigates immediate sucker growth all along the branches that are pruned so you can never keep it properly thinned out and shaped - landscapers love them because it means a constant supply of tree trimming work for them every year. Plus, the beans are a favorite for the ground squirrels and pack rats - I've had to pull out quite a few pack rat nests over the years and I really hate that. I contracted valley fever once from messing around in the dirt and I'd rather never go through that again. And you are quite correct, they are never planted right or watered correctly and, insanely enough, they are constantly placed near block walls where they eventually attack the footers and uproot the wall. Not a good choice of landscaping tree.

As for replanting ... well, there will eventually be a giant hole there ... maybe I should plant my fig tree in it (actually, a fig would be worse - fruit to attract the pests AND shallow aggressive roots to go after the wall). Red pistache is a great tree. I also like Velvet Ash trees and Sacred Fig (non-fruiting). We are also thinking about doing some more backyard (de)construction, so I may leave it bare until we figure out what to do back by that wall.

Step one - find someone to come take it down when there is NO ONE available for the next 3 to 4 weeks ...

It’s a bugger about the storm and the tree, good thing it wasn’t worse.

As for the tree. Don’t do the fig.

After a bit of tree clearing the only tree we have now is a fig and its not mine to remove. Great for summer arfternoon shade but when they flower we get the bats. Fruit bats that feud with the resident possums. That a conflict of red neck vs hill billy of the wild animal variety. I have to call the city council in for street cleaning and sidewalk sanitation.

And think about distant future home owners and don’t plant a mango.