Can you tell us what the relay does, or give us a make and model?
I would think that it has some delay capability to keep the compressor from restarting too soon.
See attached for the schematic as well as the invoice, which should give you everything you need. I should clarify that this load shedding relay was installed on the heat pump side as specified by AirEase, the manufacturer of the heat pump - then that relay was wired to the a/c relay inside the transfer switch. My understanding is that it does exactly what you suggest - since installing the relay, when power is restored, the thermostat shows a "waiting" countdown for several (3? - can't remember) minutes and then tries to fire. So the sequence goes as follows:
1.) Utility power lost
2.) Generator fires and stabilizes
3.) Transfer switch kicks over to generator power
4.) Generac relay in transfer switch waits 5 minutes, then engages its relay (either opens or closes, depending on the need of the unit you are controlling)
5.) Heat pump initiates its internal wait sequence (I think 3 minutes in my case - all may not have this)
6.) Heat pump kicks on as normal.
When utility power is restored:
1.) Utility power restored for more than 60 seconds.
2.) Transfer switch returns to utility power
3.) Generator cools down and stops
4.) Thermostat initiates wait sequence
5.) Everything is back to normal.
Hope this helps - feel free to ask anything else - happy to try to help in any way I can.
Wes