Ok, I'm ready to give up now. Today, I took apart the filter, reseated the brand new grids in the brand new manifold, changed every o-ring associated with the filter and backwash valve, removed and reinstalled the air vent pipe and the "net" that goes over it, and all the DE still emptied back into the pool when I turned off the pump. The pressure is 22 psi with grids that don't even have DE on them. It used to be 8-10 before I started encountering this problem. I'm not sure what to check next.