A Stubborn Friend Who Just Won't Listen to TFP Method

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Mendy48

Mendy48

Bronze Supporter
Apr 27, 2018
1,008
Midland, MI
My friend has an IGP and seems to think the pool stores are God Sent.

I told her "hey! you haven't swam in your pool at all this season and it's green. You should join the TFP forum and we'll help you get it back to life". I also told her that I would help her. However, she is sooooo stubborn and said that all she needs is to get the "green" to go away and she's good to go.

I tried talking to her about keeping her FC, CYA, CC , etc in check after passing the OCLT, but to no success. She wasn't trying to hear it. So I just let her do what she wanted and left. Her pool is still green right now and she's like "just tell me what to do". I told her to get a kit and she refused.

I don't know how to convince her, but at this point I think she's just going to have to skip this season of not swimming.

Just thought I'll share this 'cause I can't be the only one that has a stubborn friend who just WON'T LISTEN.
 
When I first joined TFP all of my friends and family were skeptical. But when they saw the results and learned how much I was saving in terms of time and energy, they became believers. Even people who continued to resist eventually came around. You can't force it, its like an addiction. They are addicted to pool store chemicals and they need the TFPC Program. But first they have to admit they are an addict and that the pool store is their dealer LOL :)
 
Just thought I'll share this 'cause I can't be the only one that has a stubborn friend who just WON'T LISTEN.
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Mendy:

I really think with most people, it is that "I can not be bothered with this, as I have so much to deal with" and the real issue. This is why it is convenient for people to walk into a PS. Wow, they must know what they are doing as the PS has been in business for 30 years. Well, with me I refuse to swim anywhere else and caution my kids as well. Even when people see TFP water, they are still not convinced, even though there pool looks like a swamp.

I do not bother any longer trying to help people. It is purely a waste of time (At least most of the time). There are some people who will be grateful, but the best advice is simple. Join the forum and order a kit (no exceptions). I tell people that there will be no discussion until this criteria is met. When the person comes back, will ask again, I repeat myself and end the conversation there. No need to be frustrated.
 
Always remember, some people are just plain ignorant (or have little common sense)...and they like it that way. Some can't be enlightened no matter how much assistance or logic you give them.

Unfortunately, many of them are also on the roads perpetually driving and texting.
 
As I mentioned in our pM, don’t try to push a test kit or a new system on them. Gift them Pool School. Have them just read the first few chapters as it’ll take them 10 minutes tops. This hopefully will at least start a conversation and then be there to answer any questions.
 
Many people are intimidated by the thought of pool care and the price of the kit does make some people balk. They won't blink an eye at spending $200 on chemicals if it promises overnight results, but are outraged that a test kit that is good up to 2 years is $70! Be patient with them, it really is almost like politics and religion! Most people have their minds made up and don't want to hear the other points of view. It is funny though, because with TFP, you have empirical evidence and not only a belief system to back you up!

You can go over there and test it with your kit and show her how to clear the pool if she's ok with it. If not then be supportive and only offer advice when asked.
 
My father in law is the same way..... His pool has a green tint to it. I've tried to get him to quit going to the pool store, and get his own kit, but he refuses. Says "those test kits just go bad." He surely didn't like it when I told him my kids wont be swimming in his pool, but that still wasn't enough to convince him to take control of his pool. Every time they(the grandparents) come to own house and see my crystal clear blue pool he pretends like he doesn't notice it. It's so irritating!
 
I have a friend with a similar attitude. He and his wife tell me that they have a good relationship with their pool company and take their water there once or twice a month and the person they know only advises what they need. That he doesn't try to over sell products. Like us, they have an in-ground, swg pool. I've decided that I won't push our friendship by trying to convert him. I shared my notebook that included information from Pool School and he read some of it and commented that it seemed terribly complex. Whenever the topic of pools comes up they reiterate that their pool store only sells them what is necessary each month. The perplexing thing is that I don't add any chemicals to our pool each month unless we've had to drain the pool and the cya is low. So what are they buying each month that is "necessary"?
 

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It is frustrating, especially seeing that they are spending so much money and still not able to enjoy their pool. All you can do is plant the seed. Eventually she may see how your pool is sparkling all season and maybe she will ask more questions.

I have helped a lot friends and just used my kit to show them how easy it is. They were skeptical in the beginning but once I helped them get their pools swimmable, they got the kit :)
 
I talked to that friend again today...treaded lightly with her....and gave her the link to read about the TFP Pool School. I'm hoping she's going to take advantage of it. She will have to cause she's not "rich" to keep spending money at the Pool Store and messing up her pool chemistry. (I didn't tell her that though..LOL).
 
I'm super new here but I've learned alot, I'm probably the last person to give good advice. :)

One thing about friends is that sometimes you gotta show them, help them, and even invest for them. My husband's work friend has an inground pool and let us borrow his test kit (once, but it was enough for us.) Once we realized we were wrong, going by what Wal-Mart had to offer, we moved our bills around to buy MA, true chlorine, baking soda, and still moving bills for a k-2006 kit.

But what I'm reall trying to say is, if you have enough to spare, enough that won't put you and your family in a hole, help her buy some chems. Maybe go half. Take your kit and do some testing for her. Show her and help her.

I agree, some people just can't be helped, but some are asking for help but can't because of pride (if you know what i mean).

Every pool owner needs help at one point or another. Share knowledge and help eachother.
 
My son actually reached out to me to teach him how to take care of his pool. I sent him to the TFP webpage with a few tips. Hopefully he will come around :eek:
 
Yeah! you're right. I'm showing her the ropes right now. I got her pool from swampy green to almost clear blue. I sent her the link to TFP and I'm hoping she uses it. I've given her many options on getting a test kit and I can only help she yields to my advise. I've just about gotten her pool ready for swimming this week, after which I'm hoping she takes control of her pool. Keeping my fingers crossed.

FaithMurray said:
I'm super new here but I've learned alot, I'm probably the last person to give good advice. :)

One thing about friends is that sometimes you gotta show them, help them, and even invest for them. My husband's work friend has an inground pool and let us borrow his test kit (once, but it was enough for us.) Once we realized we were wrong, going by what Wal-Mart had to offer, we moved our bills around to buy MA, true chlorine, baking soda, and still moving bills for a k-2006 kit.

But what I'm reall trying to say is, if you have enough to spare, enough that won't put you and your family in a hole, help her buy some chems. Maybe go half. Take your kit and do some testing for her. Show her and help her.

I agree, some people just can't be helped, but some are asking for help but can't because of pride (if you know what i mean).

Every pool owner needs help at one point or another. Share knowledge and help eachother.
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Mendy48 said:
Yeah! you're right. I'm showing her the ropes right now. I got her pool from swampy green to almost clear blue. I sent her the link to TFP and I'm hoping she uses it. I've given her many options on getting a test kit and I can only help she yields to my advise. I've just about gotten her pool ready for swimming this week, after which I'm hoping she takes control of her pool. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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That's a step forward! Sometimes they gotta be shown the ways. Hopefully she'll realize the effort and knowledge you're providing is for the health of her pool and the fun her and her family can have with the pool.

Like that saying goes, give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

Well in this case, teach her how to clean the pool, she'll swim in a clean pool for a lifetime. :)
 
Careful what you write here if she ever gets onboard you might be deleting a bunch of posts!

I found that testing their water for them is a good solution.
 

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