Hahaha. I think this all the time. I never thought of it, but dropping some common responses into a Word doc on the desktop is really a splendid idea!
I also question how/why to continue to help someone who won't do what you've recommended.
Example:
"My water is green and cloudy, I think it's my <fill in the blank>? "
"No, you probably have algae. Get a good test kit, throw away the twelve-way strips, and see the post on SLAMming your pool, it's very precise. "
"Yeah. It's still green. Do you think it's <fill in the blank>?"
"Please post your numbers."
"pH is 8.2".
"What's your FC, TC, and alkalinity? We need this to properly assess your situation and to help you."
"What's that? The strips that came with my pool don't say anything about those things. So I don't really need those other numbers, do I?"
Two days later...
"OK, so the guy at the pool store said I need a new flux capacitor and he ordered me one. It was only $400 and will be here on Thursday. He said my pH is low, so I got a bottle of pH-up when I was there, I dumped it in there an hour ago and put three more tablets in the float basket."
Over. and over. and over.
Where I work, if you are on call (applications support for a state govt agency) and are stumped on a problem in the middle of the night, you call a coworker. No biggie, you wake up, listen to what they're saying, maybe even log in and check a few things yourself. If someone calls you and you tell them, "I'd take a backup on file X, reload it from disk Z, and re-run all transactions that have a 'B' in their prefix." If they call you back and hour ago later and when they describe the problem again and you realize they haven't yet done what you told them to do, you have the right to hang up on them. Boom. Like a BOSS. But I know. We can't do that here. We were all newbies once and I understand folks being panicked about green water and hopping right to the forums to ask their question. What I don't get is why they won't do what you've said and why they haven't read Pool School or otherwise discover we use common household chemicals for pool maintenance as opposed to what the pool guy will sell us.
< /rant >