Moderator comment: This post was separated out from this thread: Our neighbors expect an invitation to swim... - Page 2
You are one lucky guy! Looks like you got a real winning group of neighbors. I'd trade you in a second! I actually wish I had some neighbors I wanted to invite over knowing they would take it as an occasional invite and not think they have a right to impede whenever offering nothing in return. Instead my family and I constantly avoid the situation due to previous interaction knowing once we invite them over to use the pool things will go south.
It has gotten really awkward. Now almost on a daily basis when walking from our car to the house one of the neighbor kids will find some dumb excuse call one of us over to talk about something completely un-related to end up reminding us that the people who lived here before us said they could "use the pool whenever they wanted". Apparently "they didn't even need to ask". "They love that pool". We honestly think the theme is being pushed by the parents. I just shut it down and change the subject, but the kids are getting more and more pushy to the point of saying things like "when we come over to the pool to go swimming this summer". Or "yesterday when you were in the pool I was going to come over but i think the gate was locked". It's not even referred to as our pool... It's "the pool". Like some bizzare community asset that we clean and maintain but should have open access to.
I almost gave in once but my wife made a good point to remind me that we have never been invited over to their house, never, been offered a beer or a coffee, never been asked if we needed help with yard work, invited out back to their yard for fireworks on the 4th of July, or even been extended a "hey if you need anything we are right here". In essence we don't owe them anything.
Now I'm just trying to think how to politely shut it down when the parents ask if their kids can come over to swim which I think is right around the corner.
I must be an odd ball. I kind of have the reverse problem.
While leveling out my yard to install my pool my neighbors and 1 of their friends spontaniously invited them self over with shovles and picks to help. Even though I had been neighbors with them for 5 years, we had only been the friendly greeting type of neighbors. They not only helped for 1 full day
You are one lucky guy! Looks like you got a real winning group of neighbors. I'd trade you in a second! I actually wish I had some neighbors I wanted to invite over knowing they would take it as an occasional invite and not think they have a right to impede whenever offering nothing in return. Instead my family and I constantly avoid the situation due to previous interaction knowing once we invite them over to use the pool things will go south.
It has gotten really awkward. Now almost on a daily basis when walking from our car to the house one of the neighbor kids will find some dumb excuse call one of us over to talk about something completely un-related to end up reminding us that the people who lived here before us said they could "use the pool whenever they wanted". Apparently "they didn't even need to ask". "They love that pool". We honestly think the theme is being pushed by the parents. I just shut it down and change the subject, but the kids are getting more and more pushy to the point of saying things like "when we come over to the pool to go swimming this summer". Or "yesterday when you were in the pool I was going to come over but i think the gate was locked". It's not even referred to as our pool... It's "the pool". Like some bizzare community asset that we clean and maintain but should have open access to.
I almost gave in once but my wife made a good point to remind me that we have never been invited over to their house, never, been offered a beer or a coffee, never been asked if we needed help with yard work, invited out back to their yard for fireworks on the 4th of July, or even been extended a "hey if you need anything we are right here". In essence we don't owe them anything.
Now I'm just trying to think how to politely shut it down when the parents ask if their kids can come over to swim which I think is right around the corner.