Is this sand from my filter or just dirt???

Yep, broken laterals will result is sand coming through the returns.

And yea isn't it amazing how much crud is in there even after a good backwash!! Did you feel chunks breaking up? That is a sign of channeling.
 
Go get a cheap garden wand that connects to your garden hose. Try to get one with a valve and a trigger handle, but not necessary. Unscrew the shower head off the shaft. If the shaft is curved, get a pipe cutter and cut off the curved area. I took a pair of pliers and crimped the end of mine a bit to up the pressure. Now you can poke this in the sand and work it around the laterals a lot easier.
 
Go get a cheap garden wand that connects to your garden hose. Try to get one with a valve and a trigger handle, but not necessary. Unscrew the shower head off the shaft. If the shaft is curved, get a pipe cutter and cut off the curved area. I took a pair of pliers and crimped the end of mine a bit to up the pressure. Now you can poke this in the sand and work it around the laterals a lot easier.

Yep that helps. I used one of these, it's made for tunneling irrigation lines under a sidewalk just glue ends on to pvc pipe

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