Honestly, what is it about pools that brings out the rudeness and entitlement in neighbors?!
We have a friendly relationship with our neighbors next door and they have four boys, ages 7 to 14. They are all good swimmers. One of the four (spokesman? guinea pig? patsy? short-straw'er?) comes over Every. Single. Day. to ask if "me and my brothers can go swimming." Sometimes they walk into the house without knocking. Found the 7-year-old at the bottom of our stairs (center hall colonial) the other day, while we and our boys (3yo and 5yo) were upstairs - me, just out of the shower with a towel on.
!!!
Yes, we have told them (and told him again) that they need to come to our FRONT door and ring the bell. Not our back door, not through the gate into the pool area, not over the back fence. "Cheesy Weeze" as my 3yo says! We have also told them they need to wait to be invited to swim - not to come asking. Does no good. Seems their parents are not enforcing that rule - hey, why should they? If we take the 4 boys off their hands for a few hours, free...awesome!
Half the time they show up already in their suits, towels in hand. We invite them to swim at least 2-3 times per week, but it's never enough. If we had them over every day, they would be asking for twice a day. Now my 3yo will not go in the pool with them here - it's too much chaos for him to handle - I am just telling them that it's "our family time to swim."
Anyway - to watermaverick - I agree with previous posters - do not feel bad, whatever you decide. You work hard on your house, your pool...you deserve your privacy. I am very private too and it takes all I have to let them come over - the only reason I do is because my 5yo loves having them over. For the first 2 years I felt bad ever saying no to these kids, but now I have no problem with it when I don't feel like having them over.