dealing with people wanting to use your pool

abfab

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2012
136
Ontario, Canada
How do you handle friends and neighbors who keep asking to use your pool?
All of our friends are great, except for one. One of our friends/neighbors brings it up every time we see them and its getting really annoying. We have told them many times that we barely have time to use it ourselves. Also, we take safety very seriously and allow only kids who are potty trained and have taken swim lessons to use our pool; their child meets neither requirement. Our child has taken lessons since he was 6 months old. We reiterate these things every time but it doesn't seem to sink in. We have a baby pool and water table that our child uses but we don't want to offer that option as we feel they'll take it as an invite to use the main pool.
Any advice?
 

Kristap178

Member
Jun 24, 2014
15
albany oregon
I always say oh man sorry we got an algae attack this week. Or my chemicals are out of walk I have to go to the pool store. My dog jumped in so the pool is full of dog hair.
 

koffie

Well-known member
Jul 15, 2013
60
Lelystad, The Netherlands
I think you need to be straight in what kind of rules you jave for the pool. We immediately told our kids we have rules and what the rules are. It doesn't matter if it is our kid or a friend of them. If they don't follow the rules they have to get out of the pool. If they still don't listen it , it was the last time they were in the pool.
 

javaverses

Well-known member
Aug 6, 2014
49
Pearland, TX
I'm with koffie on this one. We have rules and they have to be obeyed by adults and kids alike. Everyone always says they need to come use my pool, but its usually more small talk conversation, than actual self invitation.
 

h2ctpdjl

LifeTime Supporter
Jul 12, 2008
251
Indiana
I have never let anyone other than my family swim in my pool.......period. There are too many people out there just waiting/looking for any excuse to file a law suit, frivolous or not. People can be overbearing - once you start, it never ends. I have a neighbor with a total "open door " policy with his pool. His gate is left open 24hrs for anyone wanting to swim - to me, it is an invitation for disaster which I hope never, ever happens.
 

tim5055

Mod Squad
TFP Expert
LifeTime Supporter
May 11, 2014
11,108
Franklin, NC
How do you handle friends and neighbors who keep asking to use your pool?
All of our friends are great, except for one. One of our friends/neighbors brings it up every time we see them and its getting really annoying. We have told them many times that we barely have time to use it ourselves. Also, we take safety very seriously and allow only kids who are potty trained and have taken swim lessons to use our pool; their child meets neither requirement. Our child has taken lessons since he was 6 months old. We reiterate these things every time but it doesn't seem to sink in. We have a baby pool and water table that our child uses but we don't want to offer that option as we feel they'll take it as an invite to use the main pool.
Any advice?
Keep doing what you are doing. They are looking to wear you down....

I would add a rule, no children under XX years of age without a parent present and supervising. You don't want to become the child care yard of choice.
 

TSiGirl

Gold Supporter
LifeTime Supporter
Mar 20, 2013
541
Crystal Lake Illinois
Pool Size
5300
Surface
Vinyl
Chlorine
Liquid Chlorine
I have never let anyone other than my family swim in my pool.......period. There are too many people out there just waiting/looking for any excuse to file a law suit, frivolous or not. People can be overbearing - once you start, it never ends. I have a neighbor with a total "open door " policy with his pool. His gate is left open 24hrs for anyone wanting to swim - to me, it is an invitation for disaster which I hope never, ever happens.

That's my line of thinking..my gate is always locked..
 

Isaac-1

TFP Expert
LifeTime Supporter
May 10, 2010
6,711
SW Louisiana
We take a middle of the road approach, with a select group of friends, close acquaintances, and relatives that are welcome to use the pool if they call first to confirm there are no scheduling conflicts, etc. This does take careful management though as it can easily get out of control even though these are all people we have known for many years.
 

Kiss4aFrog

LifeTime Supporter
TFP Guide
May 22, 2013
2,741
Hudson, WI
I think you need to be straight in what kind of rules you have for the pool.

+1 with that. The question I have is even if their child was trained and schooled on swimming are these people you want around ?? Just wondering if there is something else going on that's harder to tell someone to their face.
 

yostmatt

Well-known member
Jun 3, 2014
178
Hollidaysburg, PA
My rule is if your kid is in the pool, so are you. Just tell them you do not feel comfortable that your kid has no swim training. Tell them that bacteria from pee and or pooh in the pool would shut you down for days till you shock, to remove it. I would imagine its a hard thing to say to someone face to face. You will be happy when it's over and probably feel better.
 

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abfab

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2012
136
Ontario, Canada
We've given most of the excuses mentioned at some point, as this has been going on since we bought our house three years ago. Once we determined what our pools rules were (as first time pool owners it took a while to figure out and they've been mentioning it since we moved in) we've stuck to reminding them about the lessons/potty training, which ends the discussion but they still bring it up the next time. I think they are hoping to wear us down but it won't happen!! We thought they'd give up by now but haven't. We've been clear with them but its still really annoying that they keep bringing it up. We purposely avoid talking about our pool and had the face to face discussion with them about safety and our rules. They seemed to get it and even admitted that they are not good swimmers, but that doesn't stop them!! We now avoid contact with them, especially during the summer, because of this which is unfortunate. I want to say 'give up its never going to happen'!!
 

Kristap178

Member
Jun 24, 2014
15
albany oregon
It actually sounds like you simple don't want to be friends with these people. It may be to your benefit to cut ties with them. Let's be honest swim diapers and life jackets would solve your issues. If it's been three years and you haven't invited them over once for a swim then these people are just not your friends
 

Thimble

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2013
99
Wichita, KS
If it's been 3years and their kid isn't potty trained, they have bigger problems than nowhere to swim !

Stand your ground. It's your pool.
 

mrcarcrazy

TFP Guide
Jan 21, 2014
1,066
Tx coast
I'm kinda a jerk as a rule (I try to keep this persona up)...This keeps most people from asking to use my pool. The ones who do ask are co-workers. I tell them "I'm not going to have a pool party...ever." And leave it at that. Some have said "we could just show up". and I reply "to a locked door, feel free."

Some think I am kidding, but I'm pretty sure most people understand that I'm pretty unsocial. If I want you at my house, you'll be invited, if I don't...you won't. I picked up some signs that state "Video and audio recording" or something of the sort. I need to put those up.

When I bought them the checker asked "trying to scare someone off? or is this for real?" I said "yes". Took her a bit to catch on.. HA

Stand your ground or you will be overrun. I have a cpl friends with pools. They are much more kind than I am, and they rarely have a weekend to themselves. I feel for them, but if they'd install a lock and unplug the doorbell they'd put a stop to that garbage.
 

poderiopool

Well-known member
Nov 19, 2013
46
Ramona, CA
I'm kinda a jerk as a rule (I try to keep this persona up)...This keeps most people from asking to use my pool. The ones who do ask are co-workers. I tell them "I'm not going to have a pool party...ever." And leave it at that. Some have said "we could just show up". and I reply "to a locked door, feel free."

Some think I am kidding, but I'm pretty sure most people understand that I'm pretty unsocial. If I want you at my house, you'll be invited, if I don't...you won't.

I live by the same philosphy and couldn't agree more with my fellow MacGyver fan!
 

glitter&guns

Well-known member
Jan 25, 2013
242
The Great State of Texas
I am only on my 2nd swim season w pool, but struggled a lot last year with the "who is allowed to use it" question. Someone on here (and I am sorry that I don't remember who, because really I owe that person a big thank you!) cleared it up for me. If there are people that would hand you the keys to their car, or their boat, or their house without question then those are probably people that you should consider allowing to use your pool. If the person in question wouldn't let you drive their car without question, then why should you turn your pool over to them?

At the end of your day, your pool, your rules. Hey some people are just rude tactless beasts and I don't feel badly about being rude and tactless back.

Just wait until your kid is old enough to have friends that magically show up at your house with a suit on under their clothes. That is the tough one - I have no idea who you are, where your parents are, or how to get in touch with them - no way are you getting in my pool. Nothing like crushing a child.
 

tim5055

Mod Squad
TFP Expert
LifeTime Supporter
May 11, 2014
11,108
Franklin, NC
I am only on my 2nd swim season w pool, but struggled a lot last year with the "who is allowed to use it" question. Someone on here (and I am sorry that I don't remember who, because really I owe that person a big thank you!) cleared it up for me. If there are people that would hand you the keys to their car, or their boat, or their house without question then those are probably people that you should consider allowing to use your pool. If the person in question wouldn't let you drive their car without question, then why should you turn your pool over to them?
That shows the differences between friends and acquaintances. I have lots of acquaintances, but few friends. Friends are always welcome to use the pool.
 

bdex

LifeTime Supporter
Jul 3, 2014
389
Peoria, IL
I am only on my 2nd swim season w pool, but struggled a lot last year with the "who is allowed to use it" question. Someone on here (and I am sorry that I don't remember who, because really I owe that person a big thank you!) cleared it up for me. If there are people that would hand you the keys to their car, or their boat, or their house without question then those are probably people that you should consider allowing to use your pool. If the person in question wouldn't let you drive their car without question, then why should you turn your pool over to them?

At the end of your day, your pool, your rules. Hey some people are just rude tactless beasts and I don't feel badly about being rude and tactless back.

Just wait until your kid is old enough to have friends that magically show up at your house with a suit on under their clothes. That is the tough one - I have no idea who you are, where your parents are, or how to get in touch with them - no way are you getting in my pool. Nothing like crushing a child.

We somewhat have this problem with neighborhood kids that are friends with my kids. We know that parents, we allow it. My wife or I are always close by. Not really a whole lot different that kids playing football in your yard if you know that everybody is a strong swimmer.
 

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