Some questions for ya :)

[lulupalooza]

Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME Crud, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?





Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!

 

[SeanB]

Can you cry under water?
yes
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
It has more to do with the reasons than the method - mostly political
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Charity
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
No, you get white robes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Easier to stack more of them in a small space
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



What disease did cured ham actually have?
Hyposodiumchlorideosis
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
There no glory in luggage
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because babies have no conscience
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because anyone can be on TV
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
It's all about vantage point
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
They are busy making fun of you with the staff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Because panty sounds like you are out of breath
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
There are lots of indecent human beings, many of whom own toasters.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
I don't know. I can't explain Madonna either.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Yes - they have a police escort.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He doesn't want to do anything that might take Marry Ann off the island!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
Clearly you do not understand the complex nature of animated dogs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME Crud, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Because no one wants to wathc a coyote eat dinner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Minerals
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No. Morons usually lack morality.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
yes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I did not. I have three kids and knew the answer immediately.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
That's just gross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Maybe it's your breath.





Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!

My wife would agree.

 

[MikeInTN]

Can you cry under water?
yes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
It has more to do with the reasons than the method - mostly political
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Charity
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
No, you get white robes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Easier to stack more of them in a small space
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



What disease did cured ham actually have?
Hyposodiumchlorideosis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
There no glory in luggage
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because babies have no conscience
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because anyone can be on TV
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
It's all about vantage point
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
They are busy making fun of you with the staff--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Because panty sounds like you are out of breath
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
There are lots of indecent human beings, many of whom own toasters.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
I don't know. I can't explain Madonna either.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Yes - they have a police escort.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He doesn't want to do anything that might take Marry Ann off the island!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
Clearly you do not understand the complex nature of animated dogs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME Crud, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Because no one wants to wathc a coyote eat dinner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Minerals
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No. Morons usually lack morality.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
yes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I did not. I have three kids and knew the answer immediately.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
That's just gross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Maybe it's your breath.





Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!

My wife would agree.

These two actually made me laugh out loud. Good answers, Sean! :lol: