OK, here we go:
Back in the pirate days of yore, there was a captain in charge of a merchant ship. One day while he was relaxing in his captain's quarters, the lookout burst in saying "Captain! There's a pirate ship approaching off the port beam!" The captain stood up and said "OK, we'll have to fight them off. Bring me my red shirt." The captain donned his red shirt, and the crew managed to fight off the pirates.
A few days later, a similar situation unfolded. The captain was relaxing in his quarters, and the lookout came running in yelling "Captain Captain! There are two pirate ships approaching from starboard!" The captain stood and said "Bring me my red shirt." Again, the crew managed to fight off the pirates. After the battle, the lookout asked the captain, "When we go to battle, why do you always wear that red shirt?" The captain replied, "So if I am wounded, you men won't see the blood and be disheartened."
A few days later, the captain was again in his quarters, when the lookout came running in terrified. "Captain!" he said, his voice shaking, "we are surrounded by 10 pirate ships!" The captain said, "Well then........bring me my brown pants."