1) They tend to invite themselves over for a swim in your pool a lot.
2) They expect you to provide all ancillary items- sunscreen, towels, floaties and are offended if you don't offer them.
3) They expect you to watch their kids (who can't swim) for them.
4) They expect you to provide snacks (if early) or a full out barbecue (if it's late afternoon).
5) Family can be the worst offenders.
6) People you haven't heard from in years also show up and think it's perfectly OK to bring THEIR friends, too (most of whom you would rather not be at your house).
7) They want to offer "pool advice" even tho they don't know what they're talking about.
8) They usually bring their brat kids who scream, holler, and fight the whole time.
9) They ask all the time "so when's the pool going to be ready", and you don't want to tell them that it's already ready.
10) They think it's perfectly fine to leave your pool area trashed when they leave because you'll be there to clean up after them.
11) They complain that the water's too hot or too cold (nevermind that they invited themselves)
12) They don't go home when you're ready for them to go home.
13) They WILL pee in your pool.
14) They will apply a whole bottle of sunscreen and then immediately jump into the pool and it will take a week to clear up the water and the film around the edge.
1) They KNOW when you're trying to sneak out early AM or late PM for that nice, quiet, relaxing dip in the pool and demand to get in with you even though they've spent all day in the pool.
2) Think it's never time to get out of the pool.
3) Would sleep in the pool if you'd let them.
4) Like to eat in the pool.
5) Think it's cool to act like a dolfin and eat what food they have in the water.
6) Cannot understand why we don't want them to run around the pool.
7) Think sunscreen is just another way for us grown-ups to make them wait.
Excuses to tell self-invitees "no":
1) Someone crapped in the pool and it's "not ready yet"
2) Algae bloom
3) We're treating some sort of fungus problem.
4) We just shocked the pool and the chlorine will burn your eyes out.
5) Snake problem.
Things to never tell people:
1) Oh come by and swim anytime- believe me, they WILL.
2) We're going out of town.
Things to do:
1) Maintain your pool well.
2) Understand that all of the above is inevitable and just be a good host and enjoy the memories.
3) Educate your guests on pool safety.
4) Always take the opportunity to teach someone how to swim!