I have been told I don't think like most people. Some say it's because by educational background I'm a physicist, and others claim its because I have 20 years of brain-dead management on my belt. I'm guessing right now you're thinking what has this got to do with a Fedex delivery. Caveat: Don't say I didn't warn you at the end.
Several weeks ago I ordered a solar cover and reel system from solarcovers.com. They sent me e-mails with a link to fedex and tracking numbers I could use for the idle moment should I be so inclined. I waited a day to two for Fedex to put the parts into their system, and sure enough it showed three boxes (two for the reel, one for the cover) enroute from Albany NY to Syracuse NY - all in only one day. The system also helpfully noted the boxes were in transit to Orlando and I should have delivery in just 4 more days.
I was so excited I must have checked status 3 or 4 times a day at least, and Fedex never waivered from their stand of 4 days until the parts would be in my hands. Imagine how my excitement mounted when the status changed to show arrival in Orlando and delivery the next day. The next day I patiently waited (OK, not very patiently) and two boxes (the reel system) did show up. I ran to my PC and the status still showed the cover winging it's way to my house. I settled down on the living room sofa to await the final piece of this shipment puzzle. I didn't want to go check on the status as I was afraid I might miss the driver at the door, but around 9PM my resolve crashed. To my dismay there was now no estimated delivery date. I thought to myself, in my best management style, that it had been overlooked on the truck and no doubt it would arrive tomorrow.
I had to work the next day (which really sucks when you're waiting on a package), so within seconds after finding my front porch bare and naked (but not in porno sense, I'm not that kinda guy) I logged onto the fedex site again.
There, as plain as day was the explanation. My cover was on its merry way to North Salt Lake, Utah. [You probably think I can't hear you over the Internet but I can and I know you're all going "Well Duh! What did you expect?"] I cruised the fedex site for what seemed like hours to find a telephone number to call. I used my closely guarded secret of not pressing any buttons for choices as I find this takes me to a real person the fastest. Of course the person they send you to is the one who gets all the weirdos, so my system has it's pluses and minuses.
The Fedex phone rep was unable to determine if it had actually gone off to Utah, but did mention that if it was on the way to Utah, it was probably going on a truck bound for Sacramento. I asked if they could pull it off at Utah and gently push it back in my direction, but it seems once a package is in en-route somewhere it can't be deviated. I asked how long it would take to get to Sacramento and was told 4 more days (leaving Utah on early Friday, arriving in CA on Monday afternoon). I asked what was happening in between, since even on my slow days I could make that drive in less time. He said the truck had to make several stops in between dropping off packages and picking up new shipments. I asked if maybe like in Reno they could just sneak in and try to grab the package. He said they didn't work over the weekends for the price/class my package was enjoying. I did my best to point out what I thought was a logical inconsistency between stopping for loading/unloading and not working. This got nowhere and using my best physics intuition I surmised this company must function in more dimensions than I (I only grasp the 3 physical: length, width, height; and time - string theory be ...). I certainly wasn't going to argue since he might send me off and I didn't have any bread crumbs on me to leave for a trail.
So, I asked what the probability was that it was on the way to Sacramento and would get turned around, and he really wasn't sure. I was getting just a little upset because I've always wanted to go to New Zealand, and it was looking like my solar cover would get to go before me.
I went back to passively tracking my globe trotting solar cover. Next thing I knew it arrived in Sacramento just as I had been told. Then with bated breath I noticed it had departed Sacramento, once more bound for Orlando. I was so excited, at least until I checked the next day and noticed it arrived in Sacramento again 4 hours later, then left there again 4 more hours later. I didn't call, I'm not even questioning - just pointing out the facts as represented on the Fedex tracking site.
UPDATE: Fedex has been claiming for several days now it would arrive today, but I just checked their web page and between 4PM and 5PM it changed to reflect delivery tomorrow (astute readers might remember above that my shipment class does not involve weekend or Saturday delivery).
The long awaited conclusion (at least I hope one of you will be polite and humor me - keep in mind I used to work for the Post Office).
Go ahead and arrive here tomorrow solar cover, I'm on my way to the Orlando airport to catch a flight to New Zealand. Stupid solar cover doesn't know I never applied for it to have a passport or visa - I'll be waiting for it at customs. He who has the last laugh and all that...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha....