I hate having a lawn

[Rollercoastr]

I specifically chose a home with a large, wooded, private lot with very little grass or high-maintenance landscaping. Or so I thought. Last summer was a "boom year" for acorns. I had never heard of such a thing. Dozens of oaks rained so many acorns that they filled the gutters, covered the driveway and I suspect even caused a few dents in the cars. This year the acorn production is normal, but cottonwood? Holy fake snow batman! It's everywhere! I have a giant "chipper/shredder/vac" which I vacuum my driveway with at least twice a week. Yes, I have to vacuum my driveway. The lawnmower has rebelled against ethanal fuel and now dumps the contents of the gas tank onto my expensive coated garage floor, permanently staining it. The landscaping crew that removes a truckload of leaves each year, pulls weeds and spreads mulch cost enough to buy a fun, used sports car or a Jet-ski each summer. Rain was expected last night, so I grabbed my battery-powered leaf blower and climbed-up on the roof to blast the debris that had found its way past the gutter guard. Ricochet. Not a fun concept when 250 MPH of air hits decaying debris soaked in stagnant water. Why/how does a gutter 11' in the air smell like a sewer? Why did I wear a Tommy Bahama shirt that will now serve as a shop rag?

At least at the end of the day I can look at the yard. WTH? Why do we do this???

No matter WHAT my pool demands of me, I emerge clean and relaxed at the far side of the task. I test water while watching TV. I brush and vacuum while blasting my favorite tunes. The monthly expense isn't something I can calculate. It's way too low to even bother.

I once lived on a boat. It was like living in a tiny house surrounded 360° by a zero-maintenance pool. Property? I have no idea what I was thinking.

 

[woodyp]

You seem to hate your trees.............NOT the lawn so much!

 

[Rollercoastr]

True, but when the trees drop junk on the natural part of the property, I can just go play with the pool!

 

[Arizonarob]

That’s got to be one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while. R.I.P Tommy.

God I don’t miss any of that!!!

 

[rajung]

No Ethanol based fuel in any of my seasonal power equipment!!!!!!, found out after a couple Carb. replacements, horrible stuff for them, even after draining and running empty before storage. Here in Iowa they really push that garbage. This year for some reason I have noticed a lot of cottonwood seeds floating around for at least 5 weeks now, my garage acts as a vacuum for them and not to mention in the pool and A/C unit, wish those guys were on the Emerald Ash Borer list. And those Acorn trees as you speak, yes those are real nice in someone else's yard but they do leave a nice mosaic design on your driveway

 

[Rollercoastr]

No Ethanol based fuel in any of my seasonal power equipment!!!!!!, found out after a couple Carb. replacements, horrible stuff for them, even after draining and running empty before storage. Here in Iowa they really push that garbage.

It's really hard to avoid. Now I'm in the habit after mowing the lawn of keeping the mower outside in case it tries to spill it's fuel. I'll rebuild the carb at some point when I find the time and patience. It would be nice if someone would just steal it. I could get away with a battery-powered mower.

In the meantime, I tossed a puck into the floater for the pool, programmed the pump for extended running at very low speed, dropped pH to 7.2 and then took an 11-day vacation. I returned last night and tested the perfectly-clear water. Everything was spot-on.

The driveway and lawn however, didn't look so good!

 

[HeidiP]

I have a smaller city lot, but I have 4 large bushes, and 2 HUGE pine trees that just sprawl and take up the lawn or shoot down needles and junk. Also have a ton of these little trees springing up along the drive. My leaf blower/sucker hasn't seen service for a while BUT I need to get it back up, and to lay down some vinegar on the interlock driveway before we start looking like hillbillies.

MY pet peeve is the squirrels (haha) who throw down their acorns and stuff in the pool (2 neighboring oaks over the pool). I don't mind cleaning the pool - it gives me an excuse to be out there. I do mind that the squirrels go after the food that the kids leave in the strollers and car seats (crumbs) if these things are left in the garage - so they come down from our trees and they EAT the strollers. I am thinking poisonous thoughts. :/