What would happen if I dove right in? What would happen as the chlorine went away? When if ever would the pool be safe?

You wouldn't die unless there were additional complications, but it would cause your eyes and mucus membranes to sting something fierce. If you were in for too long there could be life threatening complications.

When the chlorine went away you would be left with very salty water.

The water would be fine after a 97% or 98% replacement. But the surface of the pool and the pool equipment would experience significant deterioration.

Stick you hand into a cup of bleach and find out. Skin gets slimey, and your skin will be damaged.

At one point, when I was trying to sell our first house, I was keeping it absolutely spotless. I'd wipe the shower grout with straight bleach on a sponge, using my bare hands. Eventually my skin cracked and I got Contact Dermatitis, with the skin near the nails cracking so bad that it bled and I got a rash on my fingers that itched terribly. The doctor prescribed a salve that was mostly petrolatum (like a thicker Vaseline) plus some medications. It took a long time to go away and tended to reappear for many years.

Now I am careful to not pick up trichlor pucks barehanded as the skin on my fingers gets hard and stiff and threatens to crack, even with momentary contact.

Yeah, I remember in high school I messed up a pair of pants with bleach, and decided to bleach them entirely and make them white. It was a dumb idea because:

1. the pants turned bright yellow
2. my hands, while not damaged as far as I could tell, absolutely stunk like bleach the next day in school despite every effort to wash it off. Everyone could smell me

You'd be broke after 20,000 gallons, your car would be worn out, you'd have tennis elbow, and the ATF would show up to investigate the new chlorine gas bomb reported by your neighbors.

Please, serious answers only. This is an important question.

You're not serious, right? How could that be an important question? No one would ever fill a pool with bleach!

IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME haha

How about sanitizing my pool with alcohol? Could I do that?

/note: I am by no means "trolling" or trying to annoy anyone with these questions, I am genuinely curious about this stuff, and want to learn as much as I can even if it's not going to be helpful

alcohol - not good for the eyes in strong solution. But then, not much is good for the eyes in strong solution.

And yeah, this really does seem like troll bait and as such should not be in the Deep End at all. Makes me wonder if I need to be taking you seriously ElkPool.

No, I'm genuinely curious and I figured people in the Deep End might want to discuss such bizarre ideas. But if it annoys people, I'll stop

Seems to me there would be no chance of the dreaded mustard algae...

Once the algae got a taste for alcohol they would all go bar hopping, leaving the water crystal clear (at least in the evenings).

Isn't that what Michael Jackson did to his pool?