That is great to have a reality-checker in the group. I had such a lousy experience with my last build. I didn't get a lot of information and dealt with so many people who treated me like my questions were annoying, so I was looking for a better build this time. Sometimes I read things on this site and feel like I should be asking more questions but then remember I picked this builder after a lot of research and feeling confident with her approach. She and I are actually a lot alike. We try to put most everything in writing, but when that doesn't work we are quick to get on the phone. She emailed me last night to say she was so glad we talked or it would have kept her up all night. That is who I want building my pool.
It is funny, they don't do the plumbing until after gunite. They did the infloor and main drains, but they wait to do the other until after because they don't want the gunite crew stepping on it while they work. I have never heard of this, but she said they put the lines for the returns, cleaner, etc. through the gunite but come back to plumb the outside after. Seems like more work for them as they have to come back, but I am pretty happy they worry more about the integrity of the pool then convenience. I also like that she or her father (the owner) stay on site all day with the gunite crew to make sure everything goes well.
Okay, need to head out to daughter's play now. Thanks for all of the support and advice.