Please help! Have filter half apart and the collar won't BUDGE! What can I do?

I need to remove the sand and check the laterals because we're getting substantial sand in the return lines. So of course, the water won't clear and I'm worried that the sand coming through is damaging the rest of the system. So I replaced my shop vac, got all my tools, including the wrench that came with the filter, sent the kids out so I could concentrate and get the job done and I can't get to the sand, much less the laterals because the collar is stuck. Honestly, I don't know what else can go wrong this year. *sigh* I removed the nut and bolt that secures the collar, but that collar just WILL NOT MOVE. I put some silicone spray on it (heaven help me if *that* isn't good) but I don't know what else to do here. Am just about in tears, I'm so frustrated. It is a 19 inch waterways millenium series filter. Please, if you have *any* ideas, let me know. Thanks.
 
Okay, first thing, lefty-loosey, righty-tighty. You want to turn it counterclockwise. So to do that, you hook that collar wrench on so the hook is at 3 o'clock and the handle is at 9 o'clock. Then turn counterclockwise. Or slip a pipe over the handle for more leverage. Or tap on it with a hammer as a last resort.

This diagram is what you have?
 
Did you open the air bleed at the gauge and remove the filter drain plug before trying to remove the collar?

After that, tap lightly with a rubber mallet or hammer and piece of wood.
 
The light taps w/the hammer worked!! Thank you SO much--it felt like that collar was welded on. So I got to the laterals (that I had inspected and cleaned not a month ago) and I don't know how it happened, but one of them had come unscrewed again. Wow. Several sweaty muddy hours, raw hands and an aching back later, I *think* everything is doing what it is supposed to do! I can't believe it--I LOVE that pool, but I was really ready to give up. Thank you all for your help!--Leslie
 
Glad you got it sorted! I'll tell you, pool maintenance can be down right PAINFUL!!!
 
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